


i'll be holding on to you

by martianbarnes



Series: Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Domestic, Eddie is Stressed™, Established Relationship, M/M, but it's all fluffy in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:42:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29783193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martianbarnes/pseuds/martianbarnes
Summary: Christopher is going to camp. Eddie is stressed. Buck is there to make sure they're okay.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: Eddie Diaz Week 2021 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189106
Comments: 20
Kudos: 157





	i'll be holding on to you

**Author's Note:**

> hello, it's your new fandom probie with my first ever 911 fic, celebrating day 1 of the **[Eddie Diaz Week](http://eddiediazweek.tumblr.com/)** :') I hope you'll like it.
> 
> Also a quick shoutout to my dearest **Pia** both for fuelling my obsession and for giving this a read for me ♥

“You know, for a former soldier, you’re really bad at packing.”

Eddie doesn’t even bother to look up from the mess in front of him. Even without looking, he knows exactly what Buck’s face looks like - the corner of his lips curling up into a mocking smile, one brow raised slightly as he leans against the doorframe and watches Eddie.

“Shut up, Buck,” Eddie mumbles half-heartedly.

It’s not packing that he struggles with right now. If needed, he can pack a bag in less than 10 minutes with minimal chance of wrinkles or running out of space to stuff one more shirt. But that’s not the point. Christopher insisted that he wants to at least be a part of packing for the trip, so Eddie won’t do it without him. Eddie just wanted to prepare some things before he goes to pick Chris up. Make sure that no favourite shirts are left behind in the laundry or no sock is missing its pair. Somehow, Eddie ended up on the floor in his son’s bedroom with the contents of Chris’ entire closet spread out before him on the floor.

According to Buck, he’s been sitting like this for almost an hour.

Currently, Eddie clutches in his hands a red T-shirt with some cartoon characters he doesn’t even know the names of. What he does know is the fact that Christopher has grown out of that one at least a few years ago and there’s no reason for this shirt to even be in the closet. 

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Eddie says with a heavy sigh, finally looking at Buck.

There’s a heavy feeling in his stomach and at least some of it must show on Eddie’s face, because Buck doesn’t even try to make fun of him. Instead, his whole face softens and he pushes himself off the doorframe.

“I figured,” Buck says as he takes a few steps towards Eddie. “You look a bit… troubled.”

Eddie sends Buck an unimpressed look and the other man only laughs in response. A moment later a shoulder is pressing against Eddie’s as Buck sits down on the floor next to him. They’re quiet for a moment. Though, even the solid presence by Eddie’s side is enough to soothe his nerves slightly. He doesn’t even realise he’s still gripping the shirt until Buck reaches down and gently frees the material from his hands. It’s replaced by warm fingers, entwining with Eddie’s.

“I don’t want him to go,” Eddie says and he probably should feel embarrassed by how weak he sounds. 

If it was anyone else sitting beside him, he would be. But it's Buck. Eddie knows that he'll understand and he won't judge and he'll still love Eddie even if he's weak. So, he lets himself be just that for a moment. The laugh that escapes his mouth is a bit watery but he continues. 

“I know it’s just two weeks and he’ll be taken care of. He really wants this, but— God, I don’t want him to go to that stupid camp.”

“Me neither. I will miss him like crazy and I can only imagine how it’d feel for you,” Buck says. His thumb is rubbing the back of Eddie’s hand in a calming gesture. “But it’s going to be OK.”

“Weren’t you the one who told me this camp was a stupid idea?” Eddie asks, looking up at Buck with a raised eyebrow. "What happened with that?"

Buck chuckles before he answers. "That's called being an adult and making sure to take into consideration all the factors instead of just focusing on your own feelings. You should try that sometimes," Eddie rolls his eyes at him and Buck adds, his voice turning softer, reassuring. "You know it's good for him. He’ll make new friends, he’ll have fun. And then he’ll be back with you soon."

Eddie nods automatically. All of this sounds reasonable and true but the heavy feeling is still lurking in his chest, making it harder to breathe. “I know. I know you’re right but— It’s really hard to let him out of my sight for too long. I’ve already spent so much time away—”

Before he can even finish, Buck’s hand goes around his shoulders, tugging Eddie closer and placing a kiss on his temple. “Don’t do this again. You’re a wonderful dad and Christopher knows that. Although he might change his mind if he sees the current state of his bedroom.”

Eddie lets out a small laugh and shoves at Buck’s side. It doesn’t really work, considering how close they’re sitting, so he ends up pressing further into Buck’s arms and their welcoming warmth. It’s good enough.

“We’re going to let Christopher have fun at the camp,” Buck starts, leaning back just enough so he can look at Eddie properly, “and we’ll hate it as much as we want once he’s gone. Deal?”

“Deal,” Eddie agrees, finally managing to curl his lips into a proper smile.

His heart still feels heavy but at least now he knows he doesn’t have to carry that weight on his own. It's a comforting thought.

Eddie turns his head to press a short kiss to Buck’s lips. When Buck smiles, Eddie can feel it pressing against his skin. 

“Besides,” Buck says, not trying to put any distance between them. “I’ll try my best to keep you occupied for those two weeks so you won’t have much time to worry.”

With one last kiss, Eddie finally leans back and shakes his head at the smirk on Buck’s face.

“I appreciate it, but I’d rather not discuss the ways you’re going to keep me occupied while we’re in our kid’s bedroom, please,” Eddie says.

Hearing that, Buck beams, his eyes glowing with so much love and joy that he's barely able to contain it. It’s hardly the first time Eddie implied that Buck is as much of a parent as he is, but it still seems to catch Buck off guard. Eddie doesn’t mind. Not if it means that he gets to see the pure happiness lighting up Buck’s face every time he says that.

“I meant kicking your ass at  _ Mario Kart _ , obviously. I don’t know what you’ve been thinking about.” Buck grins and then kisses Eddie once more before getting up. He pulls Eddie up from the floor and gestures to the mess. “Come on, one step at a time. Let’s deal with all this and then go get Christopher. We can still spoil him before Monday comes. Maybe he’ll change his mind and decide to stay with us after all.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t. Two weeks without your stupid face sounds like a dream, sometimes,” Eddie jokes. 

In response, Buck shoves at him hard enough that Eddie stumbles and falls onto Christopher’s bed. He laughs and takes a moment to just lay there. His eyes track the glow-in-the-dark stars Buck helped Chris stick to the ceiling. Then he glances down, watching Buck fold some Christmas sweaters that Eddie apparently dragged out of the closet during his little meltdown. Eddie takes a deep breath and gets up to help. One step at a time. 

The anxiety is still tugging at his heart and Eddie doubts it'll stop before Christopher is safely back home. But he feels lighter. As if every word, every worry he shared with Buck lifted some weight from his chest. His feelings are out there now, safe in Buck's hands instead of crushing Eddie, slowly but surely.

They can do this.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on **[tumblr](http://buddietruecrimepodcast.tumblr.com/)**


End file.
